I've always wanted to be on top. I thought that when I am focusing on my life term goal, I am always going in the correct direction. Studying hard in my plus 2, getting admission into one of the best engineering colleges in the country; life was good till here. The dismal part starts from here; I had no idea about what to do with my life now, thought entrepreneurship would be a good option considering the fact that I am a Marwari and would excel in monetary matters, hence would make a lot of it. I saw multifarious kinds of people, entrepreneurs, musicians, sportspersons, stoners etc. I was kind of lost in the kaleidoscope of life and wanted to develop an identity of my own.
I thought a lot, but my options boiled down to the ones which were the easiest to catch hold of and required no extraneous efforts. I took up gaming as I believed it came naturally to me, started drinking alcohol which gradually turned into inebriation, started (while just attempting to try) smoking marijuana and finally became a chronic smoker, bought an electric guitar to learn seriously and become the next Jimmy Page, which then turned into a cool show off gimmick. I was under the impression that blasphemy is the new cool, if I do everything which I am not supposed to, I will end up being a very cool guy. Somewhere I feel I was right, but then I got carried away in the wave of carefreeness and procrastination which resulted in grave consequences. Had I focused less on what others think of me and more on learning new things, I'd have been a lot happier person now.
Still I feel that nothing's lost, but will take time to figure out certain things. The present mental state is very self-depreciating. I feel that I am not a free person now, but under the pressure of achieving something quickly. I don't feel happy about what I am and always try to compare myself with every other person. That leads to so much low-balling of myself.
But this placement season I learnt quite a lot of things. First of all, irrespective of one's CGPA/resume/achievements, everyone here is equally talented and capable. Secondly, when you are failing again and again, that doesn't necessarily mean you are going on the wrong path. Life will test you at multiple times, but you should focus more on sustaining rather than winning to be successful.
I got placed in a company that will make you hog your work and wont pay you even half of what you deserve, but I took the opportunity to learn rather than earn. I feel I've taken the right decision based on what life has taught me till now.
I just want eternal peace. Don't I?
I thought a lot, but my options boiled down to the ones which were the easiest to catch hold of and required no extraneous efforts. I took up gaming as I believed it came naturally to me, started drinking alcohol which gradually turned into inebriation, started (while just attempting to try) smoking marijuana and finally became a chronic smoker, bought an electric guitar to learn seriously and become the next Jimmy Page, which then turned into a cool show off gimmick. I was under the impression that blasphemy is the new cool, if I do everything which I am not supposed to, I will end up being a very cool guy. Somewhere I feel I was right, but then I got carried away in the wave of carefreeness and procrastination which resulted in grave consequences. Had I focused less on what others think of me and more on learning new things, I'd have been a lot happier person now.
Still I feel that nothing's lost, but will take time to figure out certain things. The present mental state is very self-depreciating. I feel that I am not a free person now, but under the pressure of achieving something quickly. I don't feel happy about what I am and always try to compare myself with every other person. That leads to so much low-balling of myself.
But this placement season I learnt quite a lot of things. First of all, irrespective of one's CGPA/resume/achievements, everyone here is equally talented and capable. Secondly, when you are failing again and again, that doesn't necessarily mean you are going on the wrong path. Life will test you at multiple times, but you should focus more on sustaining rather than winning to be successful.
I got placed in a company that will make you hog your work and wont pay you even half of what you deserve, but I took the opportunity to learn rather than earn. I feel I've taken the right decision based on what life has taught me till now.
I just want eternal peace. Don't I?
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