TRANSFORMATION-THE CRESTS AND TROUGHS

Transformation: this may only seem as a single word, carrying no vehement and vested meaning. Yet when one looks at the gravity the word holds, he/she may reconsider and rethink. Sometimes, it is really difficult to distinguish between the perceptions of yourself and the world. The almost visible line fades when you decide to alter yourself under the purview of the world.

The transformation is subtle but things become simpler and clear when one doesn't care about other options. All he/she can think about is how to go about this phase of life when there's nobody to guide you or show you the correct direction you don't want to regret about. Of course, you can use your mask of trendiness and the false impression of self assurance to present to others that its a cakewalk. You can fool anyone but yourself.

People at every stage of your life are going to question you and be pejorative about every step you take towards the transformation. They are always going to relate you with your older self. The only reason being they have nothing better to do themselves. Just take a step, then show some embarrassing and insane courage for those 20 seconds, something surely better will come of the situation. People are ugly, poor, self depreciating, lazy, timorous and what not. The naked truth is that everybody wants to change, to transform into something surreal. Life can only offer you options, opportunities and experiences. The rest is to be done. Come as you are. Period.

KNOWLEDGE MANIA

I've always wanted to be on top. I thought that when I am focusing on my life term goal, I am always going in the correct direction. Studying hard in my plus 2, getting admission into one of the best engineering colleges in the country; life was good till here. The dismal part starts from here; I had no idea about what to do with my life now, thought entrepreneurship would be a good option considering the fact that I am a Marwari and would excel in monetary matters, hence would make a lot of it. I saw multifarious kinds of people, entrepreneurs, musicians, sportspersons, stoners etc. I was kind of lost in the kaleidoscope of life and wanted to develop an identity of my own.

I thought a lot, but my options boiled down to the ones which were the easiest to catch hold of and required no extraneous efforts. I took up gaming as I believed it came naturally to me, started drinking alcohol which gradually turned into inebriation, started (while just attempting to try) smoking marijuana and finally became a chronic smoker, bought an electric guitar to learn seriously and become the next Jimmy Page, which then turned into a cool show off gimmick. I was under the impression that blasphemy is the new cool, if I do everything which I am not supposed to, I will end up being a very cool guy. Somewhere I feel I was right, but then I got carried away in the wave of carefreeness and procrastination which resulted in grave consequences. Had I focused less on what others think of me and more on learning new things, I'd have been a lot happier person now.

Still I feel that nothing's lost, but will take time to figure out certain things. The present mental state is very self-depreciating. I feel that I am not a free person now, but under the pressure of achieving something quickly. I don't feel happy about what I am and always try to compare myself with every other person. That leads to so much low-balling of myself.

But this placement season I learnt quite a lot of things. First of all, irrespective of one's CGPA/resume/achievements, everyone here is equally talented and capable. Secondly, when you are failing again and again, that doesn't necessarily mean you are going on the wrong path. Life will test you at multiple times, but you should focus more on sustaining rather than winning to be successful.
I got placed in a company that will make you hog your work and wont pay you even half of what you deserve, but I took the opportunity to learn rather than earn. I feel I've taken the right decision based on what life has taught me till now.
I just want eternal peace. Don't I?